I became a holistic health coach six years ago. And throughout those six years, I kept telling myself I would make my practice, then named Invoking Joy, be THE thing. The money making thing. The happiness bringing thing. The Career thing.
And I would sit down at my desk or in bed or on the couch and look for the perfect new theme, the perfect launch strategy, the best way to list build, the best was to create a course, etc etc etc.
And you know what I didn’t do?
Work with people… or a singular person.
I wrote on the blog in spurts. Letting the tornado of emotions that comes with depression and self-doubt completely rule my life. I believed every mean, belittling word that found it’s way into my brain. I believed every criticism and dismissed words of encouragement or any twinges of hope.
But yesterday was different. Yesterday I put Invoking Joy to rest, officially and I launched a new site. A new saga. And if we are being honest – a new dream.
Yesterday I launched Rare Broad.
The “old” me would snicker behind her hand at the thought of calling it a launch. That or she would want to bury herself from embarrassment.
You see at the end of April the idea for Rare Broad came to me. And in my excitement, I started planning a big, beautiful “Ta Da!” sort of launch. The kind The Big Shots™ have. With challenges, events, giveaways and lots of friends making a big fuss about it for them.
I made the Trello boards and filled page after page in my notebook. I hadn’t felt this good, this motivated, this excited in a long (loooong) time.
Well, that is until I didn’t.
Right in the middle of May a perfect storm of depression, PMDD, and medication side effects swirled in over my life – a big, black cloud blanketing over everything. Suffocating out hope, positivity, energy.
Launch planning came to a grinding halt.
Of course, as it always does, the cloud finally lifted and everything was set back into its usual course of motion.
But those two weeks were critical planning out my launch.
I had said June 4th was going to be the day. So it had to be June 4th.
If I let this day quietly pass by like I had with every project I’ve ever done before I knew I’d just be cementing down the fact that I never follow through on my word to myself. That I will never get anything off the ground or see any amount of success because I am a big capital F failure.
So I launched.
Which mostly just looked like me putting out a few social posts saying “Hey, I launched! Come check it out.” And scrambling behind the scenes to put the basics in place – you know like copy on my homepage and setting up links to my free content.
I didn’t feel great about it. But it did feel good.
It felt good to be doing it anyway. Despite the many imperfections. Despite the fact that there wasn’t any hoopla or fireworks.
In a small way, or maybe even a big way, I proved to myself that I can do the thing – a thing, any thing.
I proved to myself that I can say I’m going to do something and take action on it.
And right now, that’s the best win I can give myself.
The take away from this?
Sometimes a win isn’t the one you want, but it is the one you need.